Top Faves of 2009

For starters I want to wish everyone a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year 2010.  Yeah yeah I know, it’s late but wth right?  Better late than never as they say.  In many ways I was so thrilled to see 2009 go and with it a fresh new start.  I needed it, because my 2009 in SL left something to be desired, at times anyway,  having hit some of my lowest points in world to date. 

 However, there were some great things that happened and also some things that were my faves and in some(ok ok most) cases were close to addictions.  Yes, I’ll admit it I did see someone else do this on thier blog(and as usual forgot who because it was so long ago now) and thought it a fab idea so I’m gonna do it myself.  My top five fave Second Life things of 2009.  Please keep in mind that these things are all after Des.  Being with him and working things out this past year is the best thing ever, but then he is the best thing about my SL.  As for the rest here goes…

5. Our new home!  With our fresh start Des and I wanted a new home so after a few nights of frustration we found it, our dream home.  I won’t say which one we got but we found it at Brennan homes and fell in love with it as soon as we walked in.  I wanted to think on it over night but Des wouldn’t let me and bought it right then and there…he knew just by my reaction that I’d never be  happy with anything else after seeing it.  So, with a few tweeks to personalize it it’s all ours.  Mmhmmm I’m a pretty good tweeker.

4. Sweet Romance Furniture! We discovered this place because the home we purchased happened to be completely furnished with items from this store on display. I absolutely love love the furniture in this store; it has some of the best textures and the cuddles and sits are the best in SL imo.  LaDonna Upshaw is an absolute pleasure and her attention to detail wonderful.  She has been such a huge help and her customer service is top notch.  We are so excited for the release of her adult beds*wink* and for her to make our custom bathroom(once we figure out what we want lol).

3. Real Toe/Feet Shoes!  Even though they had been around for awhile it wasn’t till this past summer that I became addicted to them.  When I first saw them I thought they were kinda creepy and swore up and down that I would never want to wear them, well clearly somewhere down the line that changed.  I think it was after I bought my first pair from J’s and couldn’t stop staring at my feet and how good they looked.  I was hooked and spent the next few months collecting and trying to buy any pair I could lol.  Yeah that won’t change as I still have a list that keeps growing of pairs I want.

2. Bax Prestige Boots!  OMG I absolutely love these boots.  After buying my first pair I don’t think I took them off for days lol.  I currently own all four pairs of the leather ones and still wear them every chance I get.  They are so sexy and versatile they are well worth the linden, hell I’d even pay more for them but shhhh don’t tell anyone.

And last but not least…

1. Truth Hair!!  Oh yeah I know what your thinking, but everyone wears Truth hair.  My response to that is I don’t really care what you think .  I owned quite a bit of his older stuff and when I tried on a few demos of his new styles(months ago) I was hooked instantly.  The textures are so incredible and realistic it blows me away.  I especially love that there are so many long hair styles that really flatter my face the way they do which was one of my biggest draws.  Not only that but he has made the best updo and ponytail I have ever found in SL.  It was exactly the kinda styles I had been hunting the grid for what seemed like forever.  As of now I only wear Truth hair, with a few exceptions of-course.  I am always excited to see week to week what his new looks will be.  If one place helped me go super broke in 2009 it was this place lol.

A Beautiful Mess

Des says this song is so me and we both say it is sooo us, not to mention it’s an amazing song in itself.  I think we have adopted it as our new song.

BEAUTIFUL MESS by Jason Mraz

You`ve got the best of both worlds
you`re the kind of girl who can take down a man,
And lift him back up again
You are strong but you’re needy,
Humble but you`re greedy
And based on your body language and shotty cursive I’ve been reading
Your style is quite selective,
Though your mind is rather reckless
Well I guess it just suggests
That this is just what happiness is

And what a beautiful mess this is
It`s like we`re picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write
kind of turn themselves into knives
And don`t mind my nerve you could call it fiction
But I like being submerged
In your contradictions, dear
´Cause here we are
Here we are

Although you were biased I love your advice
Your comebacks they’re quick and probably
Have to do with your insecurities
There’s no shame in being crazy
Depending on how you take these
Words I’m paraphrasing
This relationship we’re staging

And what a beautiful mess
This is
It´s like picking up trash in dresses

Well, it kind of hurts
When the
Kind of words you say
Kind of turn
Themselves into blades
Kind and courteous
is a life I’ve heard
But it’s nice to say
That we played in the dirt, Oh dear
´Cause here we are
Here we are

Here we are
Here we are
Here we are
Here we are
Here we are
Here we are
Here we are
We´re still here

What a beautiful mess this is
It´s like taking a guess when the only answer is yes

And through timeless words,
And priceless pictures
We´ll fly like birds
Not of this earth
And tides they turn,
And hearts disfigure
But that´s no concern
When we’re wounded together
And we
Tore our dresses,
And stained our shirts
But it´s nice today,
Oh the wait was so worth it

Ok I know I’ve Said This Once…

But I am saying it again…GET THE F*CK OFF THE TP POINT!  Seriously!  I realize that when you tp to a new sim or location it takes a moment to rez, however, would it hurt if you took a step forward, back or to the right or left? I’m not talking plowing into a room full of unrezzed Avies (Another pet peeve of mine) but just nudge yourself one way or the other so that the other Avies arriving after you arent stuck up in the air in all sorts of strange holding patterns.  Let’s all use alittle common courtesy or maybe even alittle common sense and move out of the way.  It sure makes it less frustrating for the rest of us, considering that SL is frustrating enough on it’s own.

To Whom It May Concern…

Kiss my sexy fabulous ass!

Sweet Happiness

Yes, happiness is being back in the arms of the man I have loved for two years.  Yes after three long, miserable weeks apart Des and I got back together this past Monday(so a week ago lol).  He asked me after a very rough but eye opening weekend, by asking me if I’d go steady and giving me his “D” dog tag that he wore daily.  Probably the sweetest thing he’s ever done for me, and he’s done many sweet things.  We weren’t really in any hurry to announce it(except to those friends who were there for us during the whole process) since we have just been spending time together and acting much like we did when we first met.  Honestly, I think things are even better than when we first met.  We never really wanted to breakup but we had some issues in our relationship and didn’t quite know what they were or how to fix them.  Stepping away from the relationship and spending some time apart shed a lot of light on it though and after some deep amazing talks we came to realize that those things that had gone wrong were fixable.  We also realized that we love each other far deeper than we could ever have imagined and that being apart just wasn’t an option.  We aren’t sure if we will partner again but with the time we have been together and the bond we share we don’t really feel its necessary.  SL relationships just like RL ones take alot of effort and work to keep them going strong.  Along the way I think we both got kinda lazy and started to take one another for granted, two things I know will NEVER happen again.  We made it two years with only a three week break(if you call talking in skype, text and IM daily a break lol) and we are rebuilding our life together and focusing on sharing yet a third year.  Yes, I can still say that relationships in SL ARE possible when you find your right person…and Des, he is STILL my right person.  I can’t believe I ever doubted that.  *Smiles* Yes happiness is sharing life with the man you love and being his one and only.

When…

Did I ever become such a bad judge of character?  When did I make such stupid damn choices?  When will I ever learn??  And people wonder why I don’t let very many people close to me…get sick of being burned.

What To Say?

When there is nothing to say.  It would have been two years…but it’s over.  Now we are both standing here wondering how we got here.  I love you and you will forever be my bestfriend no matter what the future holds for us.  I am so incredibly sad and my heart is so heavy…

Whaaaa Someone Is Perving Me :P

Top Searches
camis comments, emerald viewer perving, how can u tell people are perving you sl emerald, emerald “second life” “attached lights”, how to tell when someone is perving on you sl

These are the top searches that I have had recently showing up day after day in my dashboard. I’m shocked to see the one looking for toxic relationships has finally managed to fall off the radar, atleast for awhile lol. Anyway, it makes me wonder why do people care so much who is watching them in SL? Maybe I’m just different or extremely vain but I like the idea of people wanting to check out my AV, profile and anything else they want. I only put info into my profile I want read, the same as I do my blog…and well my AV is hawt whether it’s got clothes on or not. Checking one another out is just a part of SL, as it is in RL and really isn’t any sort of big deal unless ofcourse it crosses lines. I don’t need anyone showing up at my house (granted my security would kick them off), harassing me in any sort of way such as through notecards or IMs or ingeneral trying to pull me into some sort of stupid drama. Personally I think the people obsessed with whether or not they are being perved or stalked in SL are typically the people who do it the most to others and have an unhealthy fascination with it. Seriously, if you’re confident and got your own thing going do you really care who is checking you out in SL? Pfft, I sure don’t!

Is Wondering…

I have been getting two hits a day and only two hits a day for almost two weeks now…I wonder who that person(s) are? Call me curious but either way I like it since it gets my numbers up as to visitors at my little ole blog.  Besides that, lots to write and I will get to it all soon…promise! I did write an entry about a week ago but removed it because it upset someone I know, I will repost it at some point in the future since the entry itself was great, but I guess the timing was bad.  Oh and to Fleur, I haven’t forgotten you and will get that email out(yes yes I will!) and to everyone else hope life is treating you good. Smoochies!!

Toxic Relationships…

This topic is something that has been in my thoughts off and on for months now and I figured it might be a good time to finally blog about it.  It’s something we all see, people drawn to toxic relationships.  People who for whatever reason can’t seem to keep away from people that they know just aren’t good for them, or in some cases just not good  in general.  They come to you and tell you what a lying, manipulating bitch/ahole this person is, give you the run down on all the issues this person has, say how crazy this person is…then two days, three days, two weeks later they find their way right back.  You stand there bewildered, not understanding why if someone is so horrible they’d want to be around this person, but yet, they are.  Of-course the first time they say, oh we had a great talk and worked it all out, they say they changed and you hope, as all friends do, that they are right.  Then comes two days, two weeks or two months later when it all falls apart.  They come to you once again crying about what a lying, manipulating, crazy bitch/ahole they are and you console them, listen and give advice.  You hear how they are done, learned their lesson and wont speak to them again.  Soooo horror sets in when once again you see that they are talking to this person; you try to talk sense into them but it wont work.  The cycle begins, the running and being drawn in by the toxic, leaving the toxic, going back to the toxic.  You get the idea.

Now, this is where it gets hard for friends and loved ones of those who continue to be around toxic situations mainly because there is little we can do.  If anyone is like me, someone who wants to protect everyone they love and keep people from making mistakes it can be almost painful to watch someone you care for stay with someone you know isn’t good for them.  You can vocalize that concern all you want but at the end of the day the other person has to make the choices they want.  And you as a friend can only decide if you are going to stick around and continue to be there to pick up the pieces or move on yourself.  It’s also not just watching the person be hurt, it’s also about watching that person have to choose between their friends and the person that they are involved with.  In many cases the toxic person has no friends and tries to isolate their partner as a means of controlling them and keeping them away from the people who will inevitably try to talk sense into them. 

Now for me personally I cannot stand people who are toxic and cause myself and my loved ones to become emotionally drained.  I can’t tolerate those who lie, cheat, manipulate, stalk and do any variety of behaviors that are left for the mentally unstable or just plain out bad people.  When I start to notice less than decent behaviors in people, behaviors that for me set off red flags I tend to start distancing myself almost immediately from the person.  I might stick around and continue to chat with them, but my guard is up and I won’t invest any real time into nurturing the friendship further.  I’m also not one who needs to wait till the person does something to me first hand(although normally they do at some point) before I choose to not be around them anymore.  If a friend I trust tells me about the horrible stuff they have done or said or when I start hearing along the grapevine that many other people get the same vibe I do from a person, welp that is enough for me.  Now, I can’t say that i’m perfect.  When I was younger in RL I found myself in a few bad toxic relationships myself, I figure from those experiences I learned how to truly trust my gut which had never led me astray before, and which I chose to ignore at that point in my life.  A part of me always knew the relationships weren’t good but since I lived far away from my main support system I stayed mainly, I feel, because I was lonely and insecure.  It wasn’t long after moving back home and seeing my family’s reaction to the last guy I was with that I realized what a mess I was in and quickly got myself out. 

That brings me to my next point…WHY do people stay and return to toxic relationships??  Like I mentioned above, when I returned home with my last toxic suitor and saw the reaction of my family and friends I got out as soon as I could.  So why isn’t that enough for our friends in SL?  Why is it that when none of their friends like their toxic mate it’s not enough for them to open their own eyes and move on?  When they see that this person has no friends of thier own, why isn’t that a huge red flag?  To any of us who are remotely healthy mentally and emotionally this is something we ponder a lot, trying as we might to wrap our heads around the twisted logic.  At the end, we just can’t get it.  Every case I’ve seen in SL is slightly different and unique just like the individuals involved, so it’s hard to narrow the possible causes down.  From my own personal experience I would have to say that most people return to a broken person because something inside themselves is also broken.  Examples of this are….they are so lonely that they just need to be with someone, anyone to fill a void or they lack the self-confidence or self-respect to think that they could find someone better if they just waited awhile.  Well, thinking about it there are two other reasons people can be in toxic relationships, one being they have never been in a healthy one and therefore don’t understand that it’s not normal to be with someone who treats you badly. Perhaps growing up they weren’t around healthy relationships either so they have no guide to follow.   Then, there is a more obvious and rather sick reason…they enjoy it.  They enjoy the rollercoaster ride and drama that comes along with these types of relationships.  When healthy people avoid it, they thrive on it and get  a high from it.  Personally I don’t know how anyone could enjoy something like this, these types of relationships/people are so emotionally draining they can leave you exhausted by one conversation let alone an entire week with them.

At the end of the day I try hard to stay true to my friends and have learned over the last few years that sometimes I just have to stand back and let them mess up, even if it kills me.  As Des says…”you can’t slap the stupid out of anybody”, which of-course he’s right, you can’t.  You can’t make them do what you want, you can only help guide them down their path and hope for the best.  You can only hope that at some point they wake up and realize that the person they keep running to isn’ t the person they are meant to be with and that they are better off without them…And while you wait try to keep the toxic fumes from stinking up your own slife.